


Have Yourself Another Dream

by Eletoile



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I am so sorry, So much angst, Yikes, it will get better eventually, of course there will be fluff too, probably i mean, what's angst without some fluff?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:56:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9281096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eletoile/pseuds/Eletoile
Summary: Lena Luthor is sent by her mother to seduce Supergirl in order to break her mind so they can eventually break the hero. Will the blackmail her mother has over her be enough for her to destroy a Super?OR: That one where betrayal and angst exist but the author is INCREDIBLY bad at crafting summaries (yikes! sorry in advance - I'll fully understand if nobody wants to read this after the abysmal summary (:)





	1. There's Something Wretched About This

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing except the mistakes, which I do so apologize profusely for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes, which I do so apologize profusely for. As always, comments and kudos are most appreciated and adored.

_Atrox melior dulcissima veritas mendaciis._

“Lena,” her voice breaks with the weight of the word. “Don’t do this, this isn’t you.” Supergirl was pleading with her--begging her.

“Do not presume you know anything regarding who I am.” She spat, directing the venom she felt towards her mother at the hero. Her eyes slid shut, imagining her vile face in place of Supergirl’s perfection. She had to. She couldn’t say these words to that face...the one she thinks was crafted by the gods themselves.

“You are mistaken if you believe this...thing between us was borne from anything more than my desire to have a Super beneath me. To hold power over you when you think you have power over all humans (a line from her mother, it felt awful rolling off her tongue) “I must say, you were a surprisingly good fuck for someone certainly so lacking in experience. That’s all this was for me, after all. A conquest which, I might add, I’ve won. So please get the hell out of here and I don’t want to see you back.” A cold smile flashes across her face, but she is chewing the inside of her cheek so hard she can taste the metallic blood swirling at the back of her mouth. 

She opens her eyes then, needing to see the look on Supergirl’s face--knowing she deserves it. She deserves to be haunted by what she had done and more. The blonde’s head hangs low, defeated, her usual confidence entirely disintegrated. She raises her hand up near her eyes as if to adjust something, but slowly removes it when she recognizes there is nothing there to fix, her hand balling into a fist and dropping to her side. 

It was just an innocuous movement, but it spoke volumes to Lena. Her mother, of course, wanted her to find out the _false human identity of the false god_ but Lena had refrained. Had done everything in her power to be sure Supergirl wouldn’t tell her despite their budding romance. She couldn’t do much to prevent this plan, but she could protect Supergirl in this way despite the repercussions it caused her. She didn’t think about who Supergirl was outside of their time together, she couldn’t, she wouldn’t. She purposefully tried to separate the two entities. She couldn’t now, not with that simple hand gesture. “Kara…” she breathes out. 

Suddenly she is bombarded by flashbacks of her time with the sunny Catco reporter--her only friend in this city. Her only friend at all, if she was being honest with herself. How could she be so blind as to not see this before? Now this plot of her mother’s would cause her to lose the woman she loved (because yes, she did indeed fall in love with Supergirl despite her best efforts) and the only person she ever fully trusted. How could Kara hide this from her? It was her own damn fault, she realizes, she’d told Supergirl she didn’t want to know her identity despite the fact she knew the secret was weighing on the hero. It would also explain her somewhat strained relationship with Kara this past month. She heaves a heavy sigh, knowing this new information, despite how it crushes her down like Atlas under the weight of the world, could not change her course of action. She must persevere. She must, and then she must figure out a way to undo the whole thing before it does any real damage to Kara...to Supergirl. The damage to her was already done. 

“Lena” she takes another step forward, cupping Lena’s cheek with the palm of her right hand because she knows it always anchored Lena, always made her feel safe. Without thinking, Lena's hand rises up to clutch Supergirl's forearm as it always did. For a moment she feels anchored and steady and Lena leans into it against her better judgment. Realizing what she’s done, she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and bites down nearly had enough to break the fragile skin there. This would be the last time she felt Kara’s warm skin against her’s, she was loathe to move it. Lena’s palm feels unusually cold against Supergirl’s warm hand as she removes it from her cheek as hastily as she can manage.

“I will tell you one more time, Supergirl. You were just a conquest, and the conquest has been won. Now get the hell out before I call security.”

She tries to steady her hand at her side, the feeling of Supergirl’s warmth still upon it’s trembling facade. Images of Supergirl beneath her merely an hour ago threaten to overwhelm her. That hand had never left the hero’s as she made love to her, tasted every inch of her skin and watched as planets exploded underneath her eyelids as she came under the ministrations of the hero’s tongue. 

She shook her head, willing the images to flee. Willing Supergirl to flee. When she looked up again, Supergirl had passed her and was standing at the door to her balcony.

“This isn’t you, Lena.” It was delivered on a soft broken whisper. Her name sounded like an unheard prayer in Supergirl’s melodic voice that was gravelly and destroyed by the gravity of their situation. When Lena turned to look at her, tears were streaming down Supergirl’s usually stoically brave face. The image sears itself into her mind and she is not sure she will ever be able to forget it. She wasn’t worthy of forgetting the hurt she caused, anyhow.

“This is exactly who I am.” It was barely above a whisper, there is no conviction in her words and she knows it. 

Supergirl flies away and Lena succumbs to the agony within her with a sob, sinking to her knees as she buries her face in her hands keeping it there for as long as she dares and willing the tears to stop springing from her eyes even though she knows they will not cease.

With shaky hands, she grabs her phone and reports to her mother. Three words are all she can manage and even at that she has to retype every single one of them several times. No longer is she able to control the tremble that has started in her hands and has now flooded the entirety of her being. 

“It is done.”

_The bitter truth is better than the sweetest lies._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I must admit...I wrote this whole story and have yet to figure out what daunting thing Lillian holds over Lena that is SO BAD that Lena would actually partake in Lillian's idiotic scheme. I am the worst fan fiction writer ever. So, if any of you have any suggestions for this feel free to shoot them my way here or at elletoile on Tumblr. Or you can just come scream at me for writing this terrible story. I'm screaming at myself, believe me. (:


	2. Something So Precious About This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes, which I do so apologize profusely for. As always, comments and kudos are most appreciated and adored.

## One Month Ago

“Do we have an understanding, daughter?”

Lena lifted her chin, and refused to allow her mother to see the trepidation roaring within her—the intense desire to not acquiesce with her mother’s evil wishes despite the immense losses she herself would suffer. If Lena Luthor had one sin, however, it was pride. She nodded her head slightly, unable to form the words, unable to tell her mother she will go through with her heinous plan.

“Say the words, Lena, say them for your brother—for your family. Hell, say them for yourself. You do tend to be the only person you care about.” The words were delivered with a condescending smile and Lena swallowed hard, and willed her voice to steady before it slipped passed her lips. 

“I will make Supergirl fall in love with me, then I will break her heart.” Lena stated, slowly. Her voice did not waiver, even if she did.

“To what end do we hope to accomplish with this plan?” 

“You,” she swallowed hard seeing the fury as it flashed in her mother’s eyes. “Pardon, we…have been unable to break her body. If we break her heart, we might accomplish the other with more ease. She will be weakened in a way she is not expecting.” 

“Precisely.” The fury had left Lillian’s eyes but the cold appraising stare that replaced it seemed worse to Lena. “Finally your…proclivities…will be of use to this family instead of detrimental embarrassment.”

Lena’s jaw tightened at the comment and she flashed her mother a humourless smile. “I’ll see myself out. Get some rest, you should look well-rested when you meet Supergirl tomorrow. She’s not going to fall for some haggard looking woman. Those Supers are vain, after all.” With that, her mother walked out of her flat.

Sleep did not come to her that night. As she applied her makeup the following morning, she was certain no matter what she did she wouldn’t be able to hide the evidence of the sleepless nights clearly present on her face. She had a large media gathering to announce a new product at L-Corp. Held outside, of course, so her mother’s assassin would have the perfect venue for a Supergirl save. Part of Lena hoped Supergirl would not come, even though she knew what that meant for her. All of her knew Supergirl would come, however. She always had—the helicopter, the media appearance (quite similar to this one, in fact), the gala. Supergirl would come, and the charade would have to begin. She steadied herself with a deep breath, applied her perfume, straightened her back and left her flat.

“5…4…3….2….1” the countdown in her earpiece ticked down to the time where the “assassin” would be shooting at her. She heard the gunshot, she hoped she wouldn’t see a blur of blue and red. She did. Within an instant she was scooped up by warm arms, the wind blowing her hair out of the perfect bun and suddenly she was deposited on her office balcony at L-Corp, high above the city that felt so much more a home to her despite her short amount of time here than Metropolis ever had. Supergirl left without a word, to go secure the scene. To save other lives that were not in danger. The assassin, of course, would be caught. Too bad he had a cyanide capsule. Her mother’s blackmail techniques were certainly, and appallingly, top notch. His family would be safe, but his children would never see their father again.

Within twenty minutes, Supergirl returned, presumably to give her the news that the assassin had been found. With the sun blazing behind her, her hair shone brightly, almost twinkling to Lena’s eyes. She had to squint. She forced herself to look away. 

“Hey,” the hero said softly as she took one step towards her. “Are you alright?” _She’s a ‘hero’, Lena, they are utterly self-righteous. Saving the damsels in distress make them feel powerful. Play the damsel. Reel her in._ Lena blew out a small cleansing sigh that removed her mother's voice from her head.. She lifted her head slightly, the concern she saw in Supergirl’s eyes made her feel weak in the knees. Nobody had ever looked at her like that. She forced a small smile onto her face and hoped the blonde didn’t realize it didn’t exactly touch her eyes. 

“It seems I have, once again, needed to be saved by you, Supergirl. I thank you. Although, I must admit, playing the damsel in distress in our theatrics does grow tiresome for me.” 

“Oh, Miss Luthor, you certainly are no damsel in distress. I am positive you are more than capable of handling yourself. Everyone needs a little help sometimes, though, don’t they? I don’t wish to save you, merely to help you. I am sorry, however, for the flight. I know you don’t quite enjoy flying. I just…needed to get you to safety quickly.”

Lena raised her chin, ever the pristine image of the multimillionaire CEO, and looked deep into Supergirl’s eyes, she lost herself in them and felt as if she was swimming in the most tantalizingly beautiful ocean. Those eyes were so open and honest and Lena believed the Super’s words. _Don’t believe this rubbish, Lena. She is only telling you want she thinks you want to hear. Superman told your brother what he wanted to hear—he made him promises. He didn’t keep them. He used them against Lex. Make her pay for these crimes. She’s part of his family. Do it for ours._ Lena wanted to rip the wire from underneath her dress away. She wanted throw the hearing device down onto the balcony and crush it beneath her heel. She didn’t. 

Her mother’s ramblings in her ear had left her quiet—perhaps too long to be socially acceptable with another person in one’s presence. Supergirl waited patiently, however, assuming Lena needed time to process that she’d just been shot at once again. 

“I…(can’t do this, she thought) thank you…for saving me. Did you catch whoever did this?” 

“I found him, but he had a cyanide capsule. I am so sorry I will not be able to figure out who sent him and why.” The remorse in Supergirl’s eyes and body language was evident. 

“I would feel better if we had this information because it would allow me to more easily ensure your safety. It is incredibly unfortunate it turned out this way.” Supergirl bowed her head, slightly, and Lena could feel more of her resolve cracking. 

“You did your best. That is all any of us can do, after all.” 

“You are worth helping, Miss Luthor.” Supergirl made to leave; the grand exit on the words she must have known had shaken Lena at her core. Just as she lifted into the air, Lena grabbed her hand and halted her. Her mother’s voice chanted in her head that Lena mustn’t ruin this opportunity she’d so brilliantly crafted by letting Supergirl simply fly away. 

“You will join me for dinner, won’t you? With your powers you must have an incredibly active metabolism. Allow me to take you to dinner? To thank you for all you have done for me.” Lena flashed her most winning smile, and hoped it outshone and masked her discomfort. 

“Miss Luthor, you do not need to take me out to dinner. Knowing you are safe is far more than enough for me.” Supergirl smiled then, but didn’t let go of Lena’s hand. Her hand felt incredibly warm to Lena—her hand felt like safety. Like an anchor that kept Lena from floating away due to the sight of the blonde’s spectacular smile and eyes that shimmered more than the ocean on a cloudless sunny day. 

“Please, allow me to do something nice for you for once.” Lena pleaded, desperately hoping Supergirl would turn her down. The slight squeeze of her hand in Supergirl’s told her she was about to say yes—the already brilliant smile brightening impossibly. The sun was setting behind Supergirl and it painted the city in oranges and reds. Lena didn’t think she’d ever seen a sunset more beautiful than the reflection of this one in the hero’s blonde tresses. She bit her lip, and wished the pressure would shove such thoughts from her mind. 

“Hmm…” Supergirl said, finally, her thumb on the right side of her chin, her forefinger reaching to the other side in a thinking pose that made Lena genuinely smile. “I think I would very much enjoy having dinner with you, Miss Luthor. Thank you for the offer.” There was something akin to hope in Supergirl’s eyes and Lena had to look away. 

“Is tonight too soon?” She stared at the ground again as she asked the question, she did not deserve to see the beautiful sunset to be certain and everything clutched inside her when she looked upon Supergirl. It was all too much. 

“Tonight would be perfect. I just have some things I need to handle regarding today's events…may I meet you back here in a couple of hours?” Lena did look up, then. Supergirl smiled brightly, she seemed excited for the dinner. Lena is…something else altogether.

“Of course, I will be here.”The smile that played at the corners of her mouth was small and fleeting but Supergirl bowed her head slightly at the sight of it anyways, as if she found it too beautiful to be fully encompassed in a mere glance. The eyes shifted ever so slightly down to Lena’s lips, to more fully view the smile and then back up to her eyes. Lena’s heart caught in her throat, the lump nearly choked her. “I’ll see you then.” With one last smile, Supergirl had flown away.

Lena took several deep slow breaths to steady her thundering heart and jittery nerves. They didn’t work. The pressure she felt seemed to weigh her down further, in fact. When her mother’s voice came over the comm in her ear she jumped. _Excellent._ Lena pulled out her phone to call her mother. 

“I will not be wearing these comms for this dinner date. It’s hard enough to be charming to Supergirl (a lie, of course, she’d do anything to see the girl smile—but her mother can never know that so she puts the most disgust she can muster into the hero’s name) it will be damn near impossible with my mother in my head (the only word in that entire statement she wanted to say with disgust is mother—she manages to refrain).

“Fine, we shall do this your way. Remember, however, what is at stake for you should you fail your task.”

“As if I needed a reminder.”

“It wouldn’t do for you to forget—call me after your dinner. I expect a progress report.” The phone went dead and Lena sank down into her desk chair unceremoniously.

She was a few glasses of scotch into a brand new bottle when Supergirl arrived on her balcony, exactly two hours later. Lena had hoped the alcohol coursing through her veins would steady her nerves but she found, as she looked at Supergirl, that the warmth from the alcohol just made her stare at the girl more intently. It just made her want more--something she could never really have.. _My stars, she’s beautiful._ She was torn from her thoughts by the sound of Supergirl’s voice, soft so as not to startle her.

“Hi, Miss Luthor.” Her smile reflected the softness of her voice and it felt warmer to Lena than the scotch coursing through her ever could. 

“Hello, Supergirl. I am so glad you could make it.” Lena found, despite everything, she was not lying.

“There is a restaurant on the bottom floor, I’ve called ahead to reserve it for us. I assumed you’d want your privacy.” She didn’t state that she was told a Super would never want to be seen in public with a Luthor. Book the whole restaurant, dear. _She certainly won’t feel at peace in public with a Luthor. They think they are above us. We will show them they are not._

“That was quite generous of you, Miss Luthor, but it would have been an honour to be seen with you at any establishment.” It was the second time that day the hero had directly contradicted her mother’s words—and the second time Lena had believed what Supergirl was saying to be true. She smiled, perhaps a bit sloppily and made her way toward the elevator, Supergirl silently followed behind her.

The elevator ride passed in silence and it wasn’t until they were seated across from each other in the restaurant that Supergirl finally spoke again. “You seem lost in your thoughts, Miss Luthor. Is everything alright?” 

“Oh, quite.” Lena smiled, in what she hoped was a reassuring manner, and nervously ran her finger along the cloth seam of the menu’s binding. “I was just thinking about what you’d look like out of that suit.” The words left her mouth before she had a chance to realize the implications. Supergirl’s cheeks flushed her small smile radiated nervousness but not, Lena realized, unease.

“What I mean to say,” Lena rectified quickly “is what you would look like in something other than the Supergirl suit.” 

“Oh,” Supergirl laughed, a full belly laugh that blew Lena’s smile to its full magnificence across her pale skin. “Well, if we do this again sometime I’ll wear something a little more appropriate for such lovely company in a wonderful place.” 

It was Lena’s turn to flush, and she bowed her head and hoped Supergirl didn’t notice. Thankfully, the waiter arrived then to take their orders and Lena ordered a scotch and salad. Supergirl, she thinks, ordered half the menu. “I’ll pay for my meal,” she mentioned, sheepishly as she bit at her lower lip, her usual confidence faltered. Lena thinks it makes her seem more human, more wonderful, if that was even possible.

“Don’t be ridiculous. My treat, of course. It wouldn’t do to thank you by making you pay for your own meal, after all.” _I am assuming you know to pay for her meal—although I highly doubt she’ll offer otherwise. She’ll expect that you owe it to her._ Lena wished her mother could see the girl as she is—not as she perceives her to be, although she doubts that will change the woman’s warped mind.

The meal passed, the two women chatted amicably throughout. Supergirl focused her attention on getting to know Lena and intently listened to all Lena had to say. 

“You really are quite remarkable, Miss Luthor. What you’re trying to do with L-Corp is truly admirable.”

Lena raised her eyebrow in a challenge and pursed her lips. “This coming from someone who literally saves the city on and a day-to-day basis. The two things aren’t even comparable. What you do truly makes a difference.”

Suddenly Lena felt the the warmth of Supergirl’s hand as it wrapped around her’s, once again, and she just stared at their joint hands willing the fluttering in her stomach to disappear. It didn’t. 

“We all must do what we can with the gifts we have. I help people because I am able in ways others are not. I can stop bullets, yes. You, though…you create things with an outstanding mind that help people. You use your gifts just as I do. There is no difference, you see?”

Lena didn’t see. How could she? She was here to trick Supergirl. Her “gifts” weren’t being used for good at all. What choice did she have? Not going along with her mother would be so much worse—and not just for her. She had to get out of there—she couldn’t handle much more. She extracted her hands from Supergirl’s clutch, and immediately missed the contact of the girl’s soft skin. She wished Supergirl would just fling her into the sun like she deserved. 

Her distress must have showed on her face because Supergirl reached across the table and lifted up her chin, her touch was so feather light it was almost as if it was never there at all.. If not for the warmth that spread through Lena at the contact, she’d almost believe the hero hadn’t done it at all. 

“Did I say something wrong?” Genuine concern showed in her features and the slight quiver of her usually confident voice. 

“No, no of course not.” Lena smiled, gently. She couldn’t bear to see Supergirl’s face fall any further. 

“Perhaps we could do this again, sometime?” As Supergirl’s smile brightened her features again, Lena forgot about her mother, she forgot about the plan, she forgot about everything except how undeniably remarkable that smile was and how incredible the woman across from her was. 

“That would make me very happy, Miss Luthor.”

“Please, call me Lena.” 

“Lena…” she breathes out and the sound of her name rolling off the other woman’s tongue caused Lena’s breath to catch in her throat and her heart to start beating the insistent pitter-patter of nervousness. Her body alight with desperate attraction and want for the beautiful woman. Lena cursed herself for allowing herself to feel this way but she could not help the thoughts that rapidly fired through her brain. 

They exited the restaurant together, Lena’s arm brushed against Supergirl’s due to the proximity. She could swear her arm was suddenly on fire, but when she looked down she was surprised to find it’s visibly just fine. Never has simple proximity to another person caused such a reaction to shudder through her. 

As she stepped into her town car, Supergirl pressed up against the door holding the handle. Lena turned back to smile and catch one last glimpse at the girl of steel.

“It’ll be nice to see you out of that suit,” she winked flirtatiously and the blush that creeped up Supergirl’s neck and across her cheeks was not lost on Lena. 

“Goodnight, Miss Luthor. Thank you again for the wonderful meal and the even more excellent company.” Her smile was warm and Lena melted with it as she slumped against the plush leather seat of the town car.

“I assure you, the pleasure was all mine.” 

Supergirl closed the door and Lena heaved a sigh as she texted her mother reluctantly.

“Greenlight for a second date.” She sent the text off and heard a slight tapping at her window. She pressed the button to roll it down and saw Supergirl still standing beside the car, a lopsided grin stretched the corners of her mouth exquisitely. 

“I….” and she leaned in through the window and kissed Lena on the cheek. A fierce blush crept across the blonde’s face again and she flew off in a hurry. Lena moved her hand over the spot where the hero’s lips had just pressed against her cheek hoping to trap the feel of the kiss there as she willed the tingling to persist. When it faded she dropped her hand and wondered briefly if she’d ever be allowed to feel this way again after what she has set out to do. She knew she didn’t deserve it, but that can’t stop the rampant hope that Supergirl will see through this charade and save them both once again.

She rolled the window up again and hung her head. The show must go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I must admit...I wrote this whole story and have yet to figure out what daunting thing Lillian holds over Lena that is SO BAD that Lena would actually partake in Lillian's idiotic scheme. I am the worst fan fiction writer ever. So, if any of you have any suggestions for this feel free to shoot them my way here or at elletoile on Tumblr. Or you can just come scream at me for writing this terrible story. I'm screaming at myself, believe me. (:


	3. Like Real People Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes, which I do so apologize profusely for.
> 
> The song used in this chapter is _Like Real People Do_ by Hozier.

## 29 Days Ago

Lena stared at the financial reports on her desk, the same ones she’d be pouring over the entirety of the day but nothing was sinking into her usually agile mind. If her assistant Jess was concerned when she asked to have today’s meetings rescheduled, she didn’t show it. Lena certainly was not in the mindset to deal with any investors, or anyone who wanted something out of her today for that matter. The strain of the day, showed on the thin line drawn by her lips. A smile had yet to reach her face. That is, until she heard the soft, yet tell-tale thud on her balcony.

She swiveled her chair around, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she saw Supergirl standing on the balcony. She winked out at her and made a ‘come-hither’ motion with her forefinger, delighting when Supergirl did just that. 

“Miss Luthor, good evening.”

“Lena.”

“Lena,” Supergirl breathed out, almost reverently. She cleared her throat and took another step towards Lena. “You seem tense, is everything alright?” Another step put her right behind the CEO’s chair and her fingers floated up to hover just above Lena’s shoulders. 

“May I?” she made a kneading gesture with her hands over Lena’s shoulders.

“I can imagine almost nothing more relaxing, thank you. And yes, I am quite fine. I’ve just had an exceptionally exhausting day.”

Supergirl started to massage Lena’s shoulders and Lena could not help the small moan that escaped at the strength of her hands. 

“Perhaps I can do something to ease the tension of your day?” 

“I’d say you’re doing a fine job of that right now,” Lena replied back with a soft smile.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this, but I was thinking more along the lines of you allowing me to take you out this evening. If that is something that would interest you, of course, I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured...you can say no! I just…”

Lena chuckled that the hero’s cute rambling, the mask of confidence had clearly fallen away and left the girl vulnerable. Lena reached up to her shoulder and squeezed Supergirl’s hand briefly and heard a slight release of breath from above her.

“I can think of no better way to spend my evening. What did you have in mind?”

“I actually have to go. I didn’t make plans. I mean, I made them. I just, I wasn’t sure you’d say yes so I didn’t finalize them. So. I should go...do that. Now. Probably. Now would be good. Does 7 work for you?”

“7 would be great. Is there anything I need to bring with me?”

“No, just bringing you would be perfect. I’ll meet you then.” 

With a radiant smile and a final squeeze to Lena’s shoulders Supergirl was off. Lena thinks she’ll never get over the magnificence of seeing the girl take off into flight--the grace alone was exquisite enough. However, it was the look of sheer peace that overcame Supergirl’s face was stunning.

Lena was contemplating the complex beauty of that face when the front door to her office opened, revealing Lillian Luthor herself. Lillian’s smile to the assistant was warm (well, as warm as Lillian Luthor could manage), but dismissive. “Anything else, Miss Luthor?” “No, Jess, that will be all thank you. You may go home for the evening and I will see you in the morning.” With a nod, Jess exited and the smile tugging tautly at the corners of Lillian’s mouth turned into a cold sneer as she looked upon her daughter.

“So do you have another evening with the _Super_ (she practically spit the word out, as if it was more unpleasant in her mouth than rat poison) planned, tonight? I am expecting a speedy timeline in this endeavour, you realize?”

“Yes, on both accounts.”

“Excellent. You being an entirely broken individual must be just perfect for her, she probably wishes to fix you. Adoptive family didn’t love you enough? Let the superhero save the day with unconditional love. It’s so cliché it’s sickening. However, if this ungrateful attitude you have at our rescuing you from that orphanage and bringing you up with money and the best schools, the best of everything really, helps us achieve our ends then it is certainly worth it, for once.”

“Well, I am glad I could be of use, then. Now, if you’ll kindly step out, I have to get ready for this date you insist I go on.”

“I can tell it is going to take you quite some time to actually make yourself presentable, you do look like hell, dear. Enjoy your date, I’ll expect a progress report of course.” With a stomach churning fake smile a, a wiggle of her fingers, and an all-too-sugary-sweet “ciao”, Lillian exited the office and Lena released a sigh. Her first thought was to pour herself three-fingers of scotch but she nixed the idea because she didn’t want Supergirl to think she needed to drink to spend an evening with her. Instead she let her head lull and leaned over to place it on her desk, not the dignified move of a CEO, she realized, but she was too emotionally spent to care much. 

Without realizing it, Lena had fallen asleep at her desk. She was woken, gently, by Supergirl’s warm hand on her cheek and her voice soft in her ear. Supergirl was knelt by her side and gently rubbing her thumb against Lena’s cheek, the flat of the remainder of her hand making Lena feel safe.

“Miss Luthor? Miss Luthor, wake up. It can’t be comfortable to sleep at this desk.”

Groggily, Lena came to and wiped at her eyes. “Supergirl? What time is it? Did I sleep through out evening together? My apologies.”

Supergirl smiled at her endearingly the warmth radiating to Lena’s very bones, so vastly different was this smile than the cold steel her mother gave to her. “No, it’s just after 7. Although you can feel free to cancel if you’d rather go home and sleep properly. You look as if you could use it.”

“Are you saying I look haggard?” Lena asked in a teasing tone.

“No! No...of course not. You look, I mean, you always look...you always look gorgeous. Although, I must admit seeing you a bit mussed from sleep is nice. You always look so perfect and put together, it’s nice seeing the other side. Just as beautiful, of course, but different.”

Lena couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, a full toothy grin that matched the swelling of her heart.

“Well, aren’t you just quite the charmer?”

“I try” Supergirl smiled, sheepishly as she stood to up to her full height and placed her hands upon her hips. “So you’re not too tired, I hope? To go out with me, that is...you’re okay?”

“Absolutely not, I’ve been looking forward to it. If you will, however, permit me a moment to freshen up in the ladies room I’d be most appreciative.”

Supergirl’s smile of relief could have lit up an entire planet--as it was it certainly started a fire within Lena.

“I’ll be just...here. Waiting.”

 

“Isn’t the planetarium closed at this hour?” Lena asked, as her driver pulled up to the address Supergirl had given him. 

“Uh, well. I, sort of helped a bit with their main exhibit so I asked if perhaps we could see it tonight.

“You helped curate an exhibit?” 

“Well, I have a certain amount of intimate knowledge with this particular subject,” Supergirl stated as they walked within range of the banner that simply said, “KRYPTON: The Lost World.”

“It sounds like a Jurassic Park film,” Supergirl offered with an embarrassed tone. “I didn’t choose the name. I just helped to give them information. I’ve not actually seen the exhibit in full before, but I thought it would be nice to share it with you. Is that alright?”

“I can think of no one else I’d like to see this with,” Lena delivered with a smile as Supergirl grabbed her hand and walked her into the building. 

They went through the main exhibit in relative silence. Every now and then Supergirl would interject certain things about her home-world and Lena listened with absolute rapture. She could tell Supergirl was trying to separate fact from emotion as everything she mentioned was delivered as if she was simply reading it from a history book and hadn’t lived through the events that inevitably caused the destruction of her world and the loss of her parents and anyone else she’d known and loved. Lena didn’t push, she understood what it was like to compartmentalize to survive.

Afterwards they went to the astronomy dome that projected the night sky across the entire ceiling of the auditorium. Supergirl had brought a picnic basket filled with food and a blanket to make sure everything stayed clean and they were comfortable. They finished the food and drank some wine and stared quietly up at the ceiling.

“I was twelve when my parents sent me here. My cousin’s pod was first, he was just a baby. Our goodbyes had me leaving in my pod as the planet exploded. I saw it behind me and I was trapped in that pod going in the wrong direction. I couldn't save them. I couldn't even protect my cousin, which was what I was sent here to do. By the time I arrived he was grown." Supergirl's voice sounded distant and her eyes staring almost blankly at the night sky projection. Lena sat in silence, giving the blonde the time to collect her thoughts. "The colours...in the exhibit weren’t quite right. Everything was a little redder than it projected. Your Earth is brighter due to the yellow sun...but Krypton... she graced Lena a soft smile. “I am glad you allowed me to share this with you, insufficient as it may be compared to the actual planet.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me,” Lena said as she scooted closer to Supergirl until they were sat with their arms flush up against one another. The planetarium had soft classical music playing and Lena asked Kara if she wanted to dance. 

“Oh, I don’t...I can’t actually dance. I am really clumsy.” This garnered an amused smile from Lena. “A clumsy superhero?” “Yes! I constantly have to make sure I don’t overexert my strength on things and hurt people or break objects...using my brain that much makes me clumsy. I don’t know. You would think after spending half my life here I'd be better at this, but alas, I am not.” Supergirl smiled at her and Lena couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Your secret is safe with me. I don’t think National City needs to know it’s resident superhero is a huge klutz. It is unfortunate, however, I do so fancy the waltz.” Lena winked at Kara and poured herself another glass of wine. 

“Supergirl...may I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything.”

Lena had the sudden urge to take Supergirl’s hand, so she did and gently ran her thumb along the back of the softest skin she’d ever felt.

“Do you think I am broken?” 

“Why would I think that?” Supergirl’s face showed immense concern and Lena had to look away.

“Well, it’s just that,” Lena hated herself for feeling so raw and exposed due to her mother’s words. Years living in the spotlight and with the Luthors had forced Lena to grow a thick skin. She usually laughed these things off--literally laughed them off. She would smile in the face of rude comments as if it didn’t affect her whatsoever, and generally they didn’t. Today, however, her mother’s comment weighed heavily on her. The idea that Supergirl could see her as a broken person that needed to be fixed and that was the only reason she wanted to spend time with her fractured her usually thick skin more than she wanted to admit.

“Just something someone said to me, forget I said anything.” Lena looked down and away from Supergirl before finding her chin being gently lifted up. The most beautiful blue eyes she’d ever seen met hers and the sincerity she found there sent her heart fluttering.

“I imagine,” Supergirl started, pausing slightly before continuing. “I imagine it’s hard to carry the name and the nefarious deeds of someone else, especially for a family you were not born into. Yet, despite all of this you have turned into a wonderful, kind, caring and generous person. You’ve taken the hardship and coldness you’ve felt all your life and turned it around. You...you are warm, Lena. You are not broken. Just because your last name is Luthor doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happiness and wonder. It means you deserve these things more because you’ve overcome such hardships. Everyone has their imperfections, that’s what creates them and makes them stronger. Your imperfections are beautiful just as you are. You’re not broken, you’re just extraordinarily you and who you are is beautiful. ”

Lena couldn’t believe the words as they came out of Supergirl’s mouth--for there was no way someone who was literally the epitome of sunshine and light should see something good within her darkness. Lena didn’t have much time to dwell on her thoughts before Supergirl was standing up and extending a hand out to her. 

“I think I’ll take that dance after all, Miss Luthor, if you’re still offering? I may not be able to waltz, but I could maybe pull off a mean middle school slow dance.”

“You don’t need to be so formal, you realize. You can call me by my first name, that’s what it’s there for,” Lena teasingly chastised whilst standing up to accept Supergirl’s dance offer.

“I know, but if I don’t use it sometimes how will you know that your last name doesn’t frighten me?” Supergirl extended her hand and pulled Lena close to her. Lena released a small sigh as her body was tugged snuggly against Supergirl’s, their hands perfectly fitting together.

“Maybe it should,” she whispered. Supergirl leaned her forehead against Lena’s and rubbed gentle circles on the back of her hand. “You are so much more than your last name,” she whispered back. 

Lena didn't correct her, but she knew she was wrong. She wasn't anything more than her last name. She was following orders just as a good Luthor soldier should, the only difference being that she didn't want to where most find it as their sole purpose. Her mind was swimming, wondering why she’s even bothering. In that moment, she cares more about Supergirl than she has ever cared about anyone in the Luthor family aside from maybe Lex in the early years. Her heart beat spiked, a small panic rising in her chest. Supergirl must have heard it because she squeezed Lena's hand tighter and began to softly sing a song against Lena’s ear. 

_I had a thought, dear_  
However scary  
About that night  
The bugs and the dirt  
Why were you digging?  
What did you bury  
Before those hands pulled me  
From the earth? 

_I will not ask you where you came from  
I will not ask it, neither should you_

_Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips  
We should just kiss like real people do_

“Is that an invitation?” Lena breathed out into Supergirl’s neck.

“Oh, I definitely think so.” 

And so they kissed. Lena had to wrap her fingers around Supergirl’s forearm to anchor herself as she was certain she’d float into the galaxy. She’d have a home, though, because damn if she didn’t think Supergirl’s lips could create planets. The stars were surely exploding and creating anew behind her eyelids. Lena could feel the muscles in Supergirl’s forearm move beneath her hand as Supergirl tangled her hand in Lena’s hair trying to pull her closer even though they were already flush against one another. The kiss was only broken for need of air and Lena immediately missed the contact.

I... _I knew that look dear_  
Eyes always seeking  
Was there in someone  
That dug long ago  
So I will not ask you  
Why you were creeping  
In some sad way I already know  
So I will not ask you where you came from  
I would not ask it, neither would you.

_Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips  
We should just kiss like real people do_

With that line up in the song again, Supergirl grinned at Lena and pulled her in for another kiss. Lena was torn between the dichotomy of the soothing sound of Supergirl’s voice as she sang gently in her ear and kept her calm, the bad thoughts in the furthest recesses of her mind, and the rush of those perfect lips on her own, the fingers dragging lazy patterns against the base of her skull. 

_I could not ask you where you came from  
I could not ask it, neither could you._

_Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips  
We could just kiss like real people do_

“You’re going to kiss me again, aren’t you?” Lena teased.

“Without a doubt.” Supergirl’s smile could eclipse the sun Lena thought as she pulled her in again.

“So, let me get this right...you can fly, you have freeze breath, you have super strength, you can stop bullets, you have heat vision, you plan wonderful dates, you can definitely kiss, you are breathtakingly gorgeous” Lena stopped to wink at Supergirl drawing a proud grin from the blonde. “And you can sing beautifully. Is this a Kryptonian thing or a you thing? Also, is there anything you can’t do, Supergirl?”

“Um, the singing is a me thing. Kal...Superman he can’t sing. Seriously, you do not ever want to hear that. It’s…” Supergirl makes a face Lena can only describe as a “YIKES face” before smiling her trademark smile again. “As for things I cannot do, I cannot cook. Which is really unfortunate because I sure do love to eat. I burn toast, literally with my eyes. I burn it. I tried a toaster oven once and the toast came out black and the horrible contraption was smoking. I was worried it was going to catch on fire so I had to use my freeze breath on it. Needless to say, I no longer have a toaster oven. Furthermore, I am not allowed to have a gas range stove because my adoptive sister said it’s too dangerous. Even with the ceramic glass top stove I don’t...how do people do it? I heat things up best with my heat vision and I still just roast everything except the Thanksgiving turkey, and that took years to perfect. Cooking is hard. Oh! Also I tried to use a yo-yo once and I flicked it outward in what I was told was some sort of yo-yo trick and I flung it so hard that the yo-yo flew off the string and broke a window. So I’m probably bad at that, too. And, as I am sure your poor feet can attest to, I am probably not the best dancer, even at the middle school dance style.”

She was babbling now and Lena was positive she’d never witnessed anything more adorable.

“Also! I can’t play guitar. I tried once. I was shown how to play that opening riff from _Run_ by Snow Patrol. You just have to drag your hand down one string and strum and I somehow managed to break all the strings and the guitar was promptly taken away from me then I had to pay for all new strings…”

Lena silenced her with a kiss, as an idea formed in her mind. She broke the kiss hastily and blurted out (not Luthor fashion at all--there was no finesse in this at all just pure excitement) “I could cook for you. I mean, what I mean to say is I can cook. Pretty well, I think. Would you let me cook you dinner? Maybe tomorrow night, if you’re free?” She cursed herself, then. She was usually much more put together, and yet Supergirl had temporarily reduced her into a babbling mess. She felt like a teenager again, not the smooth-talking CEO of a multi-million dollar company. 

“You, plus food, plus tomorrow is the best equation.” 

Just as Supergirl said this, the lights in the planetarium began to flicker, a clear sign that their evening was coming to a close. Supergirl bent down to clean up the stuff she had brought to make their evening more comfortable and then took Lena’s hand and led them out of the building in silence. Lena relished the feeling of the warm hand in hers and found herself wishing the evening was not at an end despite knowing she’d see Supergirl tomorrow. 

“If it’s alright with you, Miss Luthor, I’d like to kiss you goodnight,” Supergirl said as Lena’s driver pulled up to take her home. 

Lena smirked and failed at her attempt to stifle a chuckle. “You do realize we’ve already kissed several times this evening, correct?”

“How could I forget?” There it was again, the thousand watt smile that made Lena visibly melt beneath it. “However, it would only be proper to ask your permission for a goodnight kiss, I do believe.” Supergirl stated, head held high despite her obvious nervousness portrayed by the slight tremble in her hand as she reached to delicately pull Lena towards her. When Lena felt Supergirl’s tongue gently, yet insistently, push passed her lips and into her mouth she knew for certain that she was in trouble. Her hand was anchored on Supergirl’s forearm, but she had to gently push her away before she disintegrated right there on the sidewalk. 

“Thank you for the wonderful evening,” she whispered as she stepped into the town car and waved her driver on before she could get further caught up in Supergirl’s warmth.She didn’t want to move too quickly, despite her mother’s demands. She selfishly didn’t want her time with Supergirl to end, and as soon as her mother had what she wanted she knew it would. She knew she wouldn’t see that smile grace the blonde’s beautiful face again and Lena could feel the cracks within her spread to let the sadness in despite the brilliant evening.

She looked in the rear-view mirror to see the blonde take off into the night sky, disappearing almost instantly. Lena then grabbed her phone, realizing she needed to text her mother a status report. However, instead she played the song Supergirl had sang to her earlier in the evening. It was a lovely song, but it didn’t sound half as beautiful as it did rolling off the blonde’s tongue.

She didn’t text her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me at elletoile on Tumblr if you want to say hey or send any Supercorp prompts/Katie McGrrath gifs. (;
> 
> Also, sorry not sorry for the lack of angst in this chapter. It's always underlying so I guess that means it's kind of present? It was sunny here today for the first time in weeks and so I wrote something happy. Angst to continue in upcoming chapters. 
> 
> Double also, if anyone is interested in being the beta for this please contact me. Editing 3,000 plus word chapters that you've written is really hard and I am certain I've missed a ton of my own mistakes. (AKA I am Mistake Central over here.)
> 
> Triple also (should have thought this also thing through, to be honest) thanks for all your comments and kudos on this work, I truly appreciate them all. (:


	4. There’s Something Broken About This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so here's the fourth chapter. I am very sorry it took so long but I was quite stuck. Also, I edited this quite hastily to finally get it out so I do apologize profusely for any and all mistakes within. 
> 
> For any of you wondering how the feelings between Supergirl/Lena have progressed so quickly in a relatively short amount of time I'll give you my thoughts on that to perhaps make it easier. I imagine that, through the friendship established between Kara and Lena that has been going on for months, lets say, as I am not sure of the exact timeline presently canonically in the show, that they've both developed quite strong feelings for one another already. AKA Thirsty Lena(tm) and Heart Eyes Kara (tm). Obviously since Kara is Supergirl she's projecting her own feelings and intense desire to protect Lena and make her happy into her Supergirl persona, as well, as she finally feels free enough to express them outside the confines of their established friendship as Kara and Lena. As for Lena, I think she projects her feelings for Kara onto Supergirl. Probably somewhere in the back of her mind she already, at this point in my little story here, knows that they are, in fact, the same person. Even if she doesn't want to consciously realize that. She also is greatly enjoying learning these new nuances about Supergirl, as she stands a person with completely different, yet at the same time, quite similar life experiences. 
> 
> Anywho, I hope that makes sense. I tend to have a lot of difficulty explaining my own thought processes. If you have any comments about this tidbit of background/don't like it please let me know in the comments.
> 
> Thanks again for reading and sticking with this story despite the relatively long hiatus.

##  28 Days Ago

“Miss Luthor, Ms. Danvers is here to see you again.” Despite herself and her burgeoning feelings for Supergirl, Lena couldn’t help the small flutter she felt because Kara was here in her office for the second time that day. 

Kara stormed in with all the fury of a storm, but none of its destruction. If Supergirl was akin to Krypton’s red sun Kara was like Earth’s yellow sun. Supergirl seemed to grieve for the world she lost whilst using the anger she felt at its destruction to vehemently protect her current world. Kara, on the other hand, Lena thought, may not have an angry bone in her body. If this world’s sun gave out inevitably, Lena was certain Kara’s smile could replace it both in warmth and brightness. She strode in with that smile on her face and Lena’s words caught in her throat. 

“Jess told me you’ve been in meetings all day. You do realize food is an important thing for survival. How will you spend your years within business meetings if you waste away before the week is out?” 

“Mmm,” Lena considered whilst twirling her pen absentmindedly in her right hand. “Having a good friend?” She offered with a smile and nod down towards Kara’s hands which, until that moment, had been hidden behind her back. 

“Darn it! You always see right through me,” Kara said while as she produced the take out bags from behind her back. “One again, Lena, I am your Fairyfoodfriend here to rescue you.” 

“Oh. whatever would I do without you?” Lena gasped dramatically on a chuckle before making her way to the couch where Kara was unpacking the takeout boxes.  
“Starve, obviously. You’re the genius, Lena, I’d have thought you capable of working that one out on your own.” 

“Brain...must be...shutting down…” Lena said as she allowed her eyes to close and body to go limp on the couch and sag against Kara’s frame. 

“Oh, no! Doctor! Someone get a doctor!” Kara shrieked with a giggle. “I wonder if I can revive her, no medical assistance seems to be en route.” Kara opened the first takeout box and brought it up to Lena’s nose. Kara couldn’t stifle the abundant laugh that escaped her mouth as Lena took a deep breath in and jumped upright. 

“I live again!” Lena exclaimed and began digging into the proffered chow mein. 

“It’s good I could save you, the world would be a crummier place without you in it.” Kara had said the words so nonchalantly, as if they were fact and not pure conjecture or simple pleasantries. To say the words had taken Lena aback would be an understatement. Her heart began to thud a little more strongly within the confines of her chest. 

“So, Kara how is your day going? Are you having any troubles with the article you came here regarding earlier? Did you need another quote or…?” Lena was cut off my Kara’s eager response.

“No! Nope, just came to see you and bring you food. The article is good. Snapper was a huge jerk about it, as per usual, so I have some editing to do when I return to CatCo. Otherwise, all good. I actually typed your name wrong and he underlined it 5 times in bold red marker. As if I don’t know how to spell your name. It’s not that hard. It was just a typo.”

Lena laughed at Kara’s quick ramblings to assure her that she knew her name properly. “How did you write it?” 

“It...may...it…” Kara sighed heavily, reached her hands up to nervously adjust her glasses and promptly dropped them into her lap only to fixate on them with her eyes. “L-E-A-N-a. My brain moves faster than my hands, okay! Kara tilted her head slightly to look up at Lena as a red blush flushed across her cheeks. Lena simply flashed a brilliant smile at Kara and watched as the blonde tried to collect herself.

“I want to fling him into space sometimes...I could fling him into space, in fact. I mean, if I was Supergirl...that is. I bet Supergirl could fling him into space.” 

“Probably, but Supergirl wouldn’t fling him into space. Truth, Justice and the American way, you know, all that jazz.” 

Lena leaned over and used her chopsticks to steal one of Kara’s potstickers and the blonde guffawed at the remark and the theft. “I suppose you’re right, but since I, well, I am not Supergirl I can fling him into space whenever I want.” Kara smiled and shoved another potsticker in her mouth, making her cheeks balloon out like a chipmunk. 

“With your inhuman strength?” Lena slyly slid the remark into the conversation. 

“Right with my super…” Kara nearly choked on her potsticker and cleared her throat. “I mean, right us... humans would not be able to fling him into space. That’s so unfortunate.” 

“I do so suspect, Kara Danvers, that you would not actually fling that poor little bald man into space even if you could.” 

“I...I...y-you...what do you know?” Kara stuttered out as Lena beamed at her and pilfered another pot sticker.

“This whole ‘being right all the time’ thing you have going for you is infuriating, has anyone ever told you that?” Kara lamented as she tried to steal the potsticker back from Lena which caused it to fall out of the grasp of Lena’s chopsticks. With blinding speed Kara darted out her hand to catch it without thinking. She shoved it in her mouth and grinned, closed-mouth of course, at Lena. 

“Can’t let a single potsticker go to waste, they’re more precious than petroleum.” 

“Kara, you realize it would not have gone to waste in my stomach, right?”

“Uh, yes it would have. You don’t appreciate them like I do.”

“That is hardly a fair benchmark. Nobody appreciates potstickers as you do,” Lena said as she reached over to poach another pot sticker, being quick about getting this one in her mouth. She managed the feat, much to Kara’s chagrin, and grinned triumphantly at the blonde. 

“Potstickers and I have a deep love connection, okay?” Kara said, with her nose scrunched up defiantly. Lena could not help but think how captivating that face was.

“Okay,” Lena managed through a lopsided grin.

“We do!” Kara crossed her arms across her body with her face still scrunched up in that defiant pout.

“I know. I understand. No more potsticker stealing from me,” Lena conceded. 

“Ha! I win!” Kara balled her hand into a fist and threw it up in the air triumphantly as a smile washed over her face.

Kara’s jubilance was quite contagious and Lena found herself smiling despite her apparent loss. 

“So, Kara, tell me what you’ve been up to recently? Are you seeing anyone special?” Lena asked the question, hoping it would create an easier opening for her to tell her friend she’d been on a few dates with Supergirl. If Kara were to find out through other channels that would seem highly unfair and a stab to their friendship Lena did not wish to witness. 

“Oh….oh no. I’m not….seeing anyone. Well, I mean…” Kara paused and stopped wildly gesticulating with her hands before smiling sheepishly and adjusting her glasses. “I really like someone it’s just, well, this person is way out of _my_ league.”

Lena’s eyes twinkled as she watched Kara fiddle with the hem of her shirt nervously. When she replied, her voice was quite a bit lower than usual. She leaned in towards Kara’s ear and simply said, “Nobody is out of your league, Kara Danvers,” before pulling back and smiling brilliantly at the obviously flustered blonde.

“Wha-what about you? Seeing anyone?” Kara managed to stutter out, but just barely. 

“I’ve actually been on a couple of dates with Supergirl.”

Kara’s eyebrows rose up and her voice peaked at the end of her response, was to simply say “Oh?” but large amount of surprise otherwise was not present in her actions. Lena wondered at it for a moment before she realized she should actually reply to the implied question. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Kara.

“How is that going?”

“Well, I do believe she’s something,” and for the life of her Lena couldn’t think of a word that would fully encompass the enigma that was Supergirl, “unexpected.”

“Unexpected, huh?” Kara’s brows knitted together as if she was generally concerned about Lena’s word choice. Lena reminded herself that Kara was friends with Supergirl and perhaps that wasn’t the best word to use. 

“In a good way, I assure you.” In a way that interfered with what Lena was supposed to do, certainly. She had hoped to find her time with the Super to be quite unenjoyable so that would make the task at hand easier. Quite the contrary, however, she could tell that feelings, not particularly unwanted but certainly unneeded, were creeping into the crevices of her being. Her smile and everything else about her exuded the warmth of the sun which gave her her powers and Lena could not help herself and smiled wistfully at the direction her thoughts had tugged her mind.  
“Earth to Lena…” Kara said, whilst laughing and smiling her full amused smile, eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. 

“I apologize, it seems I was a bit lost there for a moment.”

“I’ll say” Kara teased her, good naturedly. “So have you thought about who she outside of being Supergirl. I mean, do you...um, do you intend to ask her?”

Lena tried to clear the lump that had risen up in her throat before responding but found it wouldn’t go away. Her mind was filled to the brim with all the reasons why she wouldn’t ask Supergirl her true identity--couldn’t ask her. She thought of her mother’s harsh and cold face and her calculating eyes. She thought of what her mother’s demented, yet brilliant, brain could do to Supergirl and any of her loved ones. She bit at her bottom lip nervously, a habit her mother had been trying to break her of since she was four years old. It was a show of weakness that was thoroughly unacceptable to Lillian Luthor. Lena released her lip and straightened her back in a desperate attempt to fill herself with more confidence than she felt. When she spoke, her voice did not waver. Lillian had trained her well, after all.

“I don’t think we are there yet. Of course, I wouldn’t ask, anyways. It seems like an intrusion. Nor would I, at this juncture, want her to tell me. It would put both of us in danger solely based on the very nature of who we are.It seems like an unnecessary risk at this stage.”

 

‘Right...Right. That seems, that seems smart.” Lena glanced up to see that Kara’s face looked a tad crestfallen, but only for a second, she wiped it away with a forced smile. Just as Lena was about to respond Kara’s phone buzzed and she quickly grabbed it, as if she was grabbing a lifeline. 

“It’s my sister, she needs me. I’m sorry to eat and run so quickly.”

In one fell swoop she was off the couch and her jacket had been hastily placed on her shoulders.

“It was nice seeing you, Lena.”

“The pleasure was all mine, of course.” Lena smiled, brightly, despite feeling as if she’d said something wrong to make Kara flee so abruptly. She looked down briefly and when she looked back up again, Kara was already out the door of her office. 

 

Lena barely had time to get back to work after Kara’s departure when Jess’s voice popped over the intercom to tell her that her mother insisted she see her. Lena told her to send her in and steeled herself. She tried to force the Lena she was outside the Luthor name--the Lena she was with Kara and, now, to an extent with Supergirl--to the recesses of herself. She was about to go into a prize fight that was severely rigged against her. She could certainly put on the mask of cold indifference, but that mask didn’t reach to her very core like it did with her mother. With her it was a mask to hide other things, with her mother it was her entire being. Was Lena’s IQ higher than her mother’s? Absolutely. However, she wasn’t the grand-master of manipulation and creator of existential dread as her mother was. She was just Lena. So much of her was still the four year old girl scared and alone at the orphanage, waiting for someone to pick her up and love her. Every bit of her still remembered what it felt like to be utterly alone in the world and to experience a burgeoning hope when told someone was going to take her home and care for her. _Care_ isn’t the word she’d use now, perhaps _provide_ would be more adequate. _Care_ gives the idea that there would be no strings attached and with the Luthors, Lillian in particular, there would always be strings attached including, Lena was certain, the red string of her fate.

Lena still remembers the night Lionel came and brought her to the Luthor mansion. She vividly recalls looking up at Lillian and feeling as if she was a giant. If she had been older than four years old perhaps she would have recognized that the smile on her lips didn’t touch her cold eyes. When she had tried to take Lillian’s hand when she first met her in the study of the mansion and her hand was promptly swatted away she wondered at it and didn’t understand but she never tried to touch the woman again. She wishes now that she had grown to be taller than Lillian, so she could feel larger than her in some way. As the woman walked into the room, steely and appraising eyes fixated displeasing on her, she felt so much smaller than her 5’5” stature would indicate. She straightened her back and steeled her spine, but she found it offered no comfort.

“Mother.” Lena nodded curtly before continuing. “To what do I owe the...pleasure?”

Lillian strode into the office as if she owned the damn place, and Lena could not help but to admire how the woman’s presence managed to fill a large office, leaving no space for others. If people thought she was able to achieve such a feat, they certainly hadn’t met her mother and been able to compare the two. 

“I was certain I said I expected daily reports. Imagine my surprise, then, when I did not receive even so much as a simple text message regarding the events of last night. Really, Lena, is it so hard for you to follow a simple instruction?”

Lena stayed seated behind her desk as she found the bulk of it gave her some tiny shard of stability. 

“There was nothing interesting to report. It did not seem prudent to bother you with no new information.”

“So,” Lillian strode closer and invaded Lena’s personal bubble as she leaned against the side of her desk and stared intently at her daughter searching her face for whatever it was she was certain Lena was hiding. “You are telling me that you went on a date with Supergirl and no plans for further dates. If you have failed at your task, that is something to report. If you have secured another outing, that is something to report. In either case, there would have been something to report. Now, be a dear, and tell me why you failed to do so.”

“You are correct, I should have reported. I am cooking her dinner this evening. It did not seem like a large development, thus, I did not text you.”

“You...are going to cook for her? You cannot cook,Lena. Are you purposely trying to destroy this?”

Lena simply smirked at her mother.

“The things you do not know about me could fill several books.”

“Hm, well...seems like the perfect night for an early relationship test then.” Lillian’s grin spread across her face. “We are going to stage a situation tonight in the middle of your dinner. That is all the information you need to know. If she comes back after she’s done handling it, if she survives it that is...then we’ll know she’s beginning to feel serious about this, won’t we?” 

Lena’s mind burst into active overdrive. Her instinct was immediately to contact Supergirl and cancel their plans, but she knew that would be no good, and her mother would see right through the move. She knew there was no way to stop this, but she did have faith that whatever her mother’s plan was, it would not be enough to take down the hero.

“I see. Well, dinner is at 7.”

 

X

 

Seven o’clock found Lena in her office slumped against the back of her desk as if the weight of the world was ungracefully teetering on her shoulders. She knew she was supposed to be in her penthouse making homemade noodles and sauce with Supergirl and every fiber of her being longed to be doing just that; except the ones that realized this was all a farce. She could never really have the hero, who embodied sunshine, when she was embroiled in darkness. Lena lamented that her mother always thought Lex was the clever one. Lillian thought Lex could rule the world if he truly put his mind to it and Lena supposed, in a way, he had tried. Lillian swept Lena’s brilliance under a rug as if it didn’t truly exist and only uncovered it when it was convenient for her, when she could use Lena as a trophy. Lena cursed her intelligence now as it seemed to be failing her. She could see the tendrils of plots to get her and, by extension and more importantly, Supergirl out of this situation but they were just a little too far out of her reach. 

Lena had never been much of a drinker, preferring to always keep her wits about her, but as she poured her third glass of whiskey of the evening for the third evening in a row she sat and marveled at the way the lights had halos and she could see the particles of dust dancing in the glow. She wondered, then, if this is how Supergirl always saw the world, with utter focus and clarity. Was she always hyper aware of her surroundings? How did she see this world? She wondered what it would be like to see the dying of her world and how that could not have totally crushed the spirit of the remarkable blonde when her own spirit was being crushed simply by the weight of one woman’s demands and expectations. She screamed the name of Supergirl’s god into the void hoping he would protect the beautiful alien from all of this and all the cruelty this world had to offer. Gods were a belief, were they not? This one could not have perished with Krypton, could it? Her father had always told her that screaming the name of a foreigner’s god was the purest expression of grief. Lena realized, for the first time, that must be what this sinking feeling in her bones was: grief.Grief for the beautiful spirit she was working to break. Grief for herself, as well, because if she were being honest with herself she’d admit that when Supergirl kisses her it’s the most content she’s ever felt in her life; like the sun is bleeding into the darkness and saving an entire world from the abyss. 

Supergirl found her slumped against her desk a half an hour after their date was to begin and Lena was already five quite full tumblers into her bottle. The hero didn’t ask any questions, she simply sat down on the floor and scooped Lena into her arms whilst pressing soft and chaste kisses against her head. Lena pressed her head against Supergirl’s chest over her heart and allowed the steady beat to calm her nerves. Her hand raised to absent-mindedly trace the symbol emblazoned on Supergirl’s chest; the symbol that meant hope to so many people but madness to her family. 

“It means stronger together,” Supergirl said softly and captured Lena’s hand in her own as Lena continued to trace the symbol. 

Lena wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, Lena clutching onto Supergirl as if she were a life raft on a stormy open ocean and Supergirl softly pressing kisses to the top of her head and her forehead whilst whispering soft nothings.It could have been minutes, hours, or days but to Lena it didn’t matter because the feeling of the blonde’s body against hers quieted her mind for the first time in days. 

The reverie was broken when Supergirl startled, presumably from a message in her earpiece, and she nodded solemnly at the words as if the person on the other end could see her. Supergirl gently extracted herself from Lena with apologies about duty that Lena barely heard. This must be what her mother was planning for the night. Panic set in.

“Don’t go,” she pleaded as Supergirl reached the balcony door.

The hero hesitated for a moment, clearly torn between the woman that was cracking before her, who so obviously needed the pieces of herself held together even if just for a little while, and the city she swore she would protect. With a few long strides she arrived back in front of Lena and bent down to kiss her softly. 

“You know I have to,” she whispered barely loud enough for Lena’s ear to catch. “I’ll be back for you, I promise, just wait here and I’ll return and bring you home, okay?” 

“Okay,” Lena’s voice was small and she hated herself for it.

Without another word Supergirl flew away leaving Lena to panic over her safety and what her mother possibly had in store for the girl of steel. 

 

X

 

Lena woke up three hours later as she was being softly lifted into strong arms. She didn’t startle much as Supergirl slowly flew her over the city. Lena couldn’t help but marvel at both Supergirl’s warmth and the beauty of the city from above. They landed on the balcony of a hotel room and Lena looked at the superhero quizzically.

“Ah, um...part of the emergency tonight. Two bombs went off in the city, one at the orphanage on  
Fourth and one at your apartment. I am so glad you weren’t there. They went off simultaneously. We have no leads regarding the perpetrators, but suspect it was Cadmus...or...um,, your brother.” Supergirl paused to gauge Lena’s reaction, but Lena managed to keep her face still. “ I called Jess and had her book you a room here, and she is having people sent in to repair and renovate the damage to your place, I hope that was okay and I didn’t overstep my bounds.” 

“No, of course not. Thank you, Supergirl,” Lena stated, stiffly. She had always been great at masking emotions through a firm voice and impassive face, but she felt the facade slipping the more Supergirl swept her searching eyes over the pale skin of Lena’s face. 

Lena didn’t ask the question on her mind, “Who would you have saved if the choice wasn’t so easily made?” She knew that’s exactly what her mother wanted to know. Lena knew Supergirl, however, she knew she would have always picked the orphanage. Lena would expect nothing else. So she allowed herself to take comfort in Supergirl’s arms. And when she was settled in for the evening and Supergirl made to leave...she asked her to stay.

In Supergirl’s arms the nightmares didn’t come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always you can fine me on tumblr at elletoile if you want to fangirl with me, send me gifs of Katie McGrath or yell at me for being a slowpoke. (:


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